Elon James is not White

Go shawty, its your birthday.

2008-10-18T07:49:04Z

Oh wait. It’s actually MY birthday. I’m not even familiar with this shawty character. So…so far? My latest birthday has brought me nothing but pain and suffering. I have been suffering from a really crappy sinus infection, starting about 2 days before my birthday and now 2 days after. If I were one to believe in things like…I dunno…God? I’d be pretty sure that I’ve some how angered said God and he is now smiting me. This feels like a smite. I have yet to party even a LITTLE BIT in celebration of my day of arrival. So far its just been me and orange juice. I assume that at some point I will take joy in this event, but as of now I feel crap.Stupid human frailty. I will now continue watching “Candyman”. Yes, the 1992 shitty horror flick. When you sleep for hours and hours on end, you find yourself awake at weird times and watching Candyman. Jaysus.

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Sarah Palin: Eye keeper on RUSSIA!

2008-09-25T22:11:00Z

X-Posted @The Huffington Post, This Week in Blackness So the Katie Couric interview with Sarah Palin is making the rounds and of course everyone talks about how she seems stupid, and obviously not ready to be the President in any shape, form, or fashion.

Um…after I wrote that last sentence I just realized there wasn’t really anything else for me to say on the subject. She seems stupid and well…you get my point. But I’ll try to push forward anyway.

Even if there wasn’t an audible collective cry from every woman in the United States when the McCain camp pandered picked Alaska McMoosekiller over there, there still was a collective eyebrow-raise. A lot of people, it seems, tried to give this pick an opportunity to show itself a wise one. The historic first Vice Presidential female candidate is something that a lot of people didn’t want to turn their nose up to. Ah, but alas. Now people have no choice but to turn their noise up to it because of the pure horseshit that its turning out to be. It’s stinking up the entire Presidential race! John McCain is pulling out emergency tactics to delay the VP debates, all the while risking seeming like he’s being an unstable coward. The McCain camp obviously thought about the possibility of that and weighed it against the feild day that would be had over Palins folksy debatng style and still decided to go all in.When Palin talks, she has the uncertainty and wide eyed inflections that George Bush has exhibited these past 8 years. Forget her ability to act as Vice President, I’m starting to 2nd guess whether she is really capable of acting as Governer of Alaska. She believes she’s keeping an eye on Russia! It’s as if someone told her that her job there is way more important that it is and she bought it hook, line and sinker. She thinks she’s America’s first line of defense. “If they get by Alaska, we’re all dead!” I imagine her sitting in her office with binoculars looking towards Russia. Then immediately sitting down at her desk writing in her My Little Pony “Keep America Safe” notebook.

“All good today. Couldn’t see any nuclear weapons pointed our way. Yay!”

There was a statistic that came out of the AP/Yahoo Poll on race and the Election. It stated that 1/3 of democrats were in fact racist and had negative feelings towards black people. Of that 1/3, 58 percent still stated that they would vote for Barack Obama. Do you understand what the republicans are doing here? They are scaring white people SOOOOO much that they are looking past their everyday racism and looking to vote in a black man, simply because the alternative is too scary. Any negative feelings they have are being outweighed by the sense that the white alternative would be absolutely bonkers. I imagine that this is happening on the republican side as well. That 90 percent voting with GWB will scare anybody who’s actually paying attention.

Kudos Sen. McCain. You seem to be bringing that change that you all of a sudden keep talking about. Thanks for bringing racist over to the Obama side.

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This Week in Blackness - The Vlog

2008-09-16T15:37:47Z

So I’ve jumped on the bandwagon of Vlogging (Although Id like to point out I “Vlogged” 8 years ago. Thing was, no one had the bandwidth to watch them, and if they did they PROBABLY didn’t care.) So now you can find me over at Youtube.com/bccofilms knocking the vlogs back like a glass of lemonade.

Lemonade. Riiiiight. We all know I meant Jameson.

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Spain is a bit far, no?

2008-09-12T16:27:47Z

So I’ve been in a relationship for approximately 2 years and 10 months. (Please, hold your applause)

It’s not so much because I’m soooo amazing that someone obviously wanted me and felt that they couldn’t possibly let me go (although I like to say that in mixed company) its more that she’s amused by me and I seem not to be able to function at all with out her. (She reminds me to eat. Seriously. Oh and we love each other. I just realized I didn’t say or imply that) The thing is, every year my beloved takes a trip with her family some where in the world. (since we’ve dated its been Sweden and China) This year is Spain. She’ll be gone for approximately 2 weeks.

This frightens me.

I’m pretty sure upon her return I’ll be reduced to a series of grunts and moans, because she’s what keeps me social (and please note: I’m far from social) But now theres no one to ask me about my day or to force me to ask about theirs. I’m just left in an apartment to fend for myself. When she went to china I almost DIED!

Lets hope I’m not wallowing in my own filth and saying shit like “me hungry” or “me need clean clothes” when she returns. I’m fairly certain thats not sexy.

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This Week in Blackness – Diddy doesn’t approve.

2008-09-03T05:33:05Z

It seems that P.Diddy aka Sean “Puffy” Combs aka Ciroc Obama (is this guy fucking kidding me?) is quite upset with John McCains pick for the Vice President. If you check out Mr. Diddys video blog you can see clearly (well not so clearly. I don’t know what the hell this dude is doing with the camera) that he’s ~~fucking insane~~… frustrated. He’s made a very clear argument that he loves McCain and wishes him a long life (am I a bad person because I don’t wish that? I dont wish death but I’m not hoping for an additional 20 years. I look at it like he’s in his victory lap.) but Diddy thinks he’s “bugging the fuck out.”

“You should have got Michelle Obama to be your running mate.” - Diddy

What? WHAT? WHAT ?!?!

Listen. I’m anti the Sarah Palin thing as well(shocker) but what Diddy is doing right now is hurting Obama more than anything the republicans can do. Middle America is watching this and thinking to themselves “Wait, this is the Obama supporters? This guy? Fuck that. GET McCAIN IN THERE IMMEDIATELY.” Seriously Mr. Combs, I’m going to have to ask you to respectfully shut the fuck up. You’re not helping. CIROC OBAMA? Did you use Obamas name in a shameless plug of your high priced premium vodka?

I will accept the Sean Combs has some sort of savvy. He’s accumulated a great deal of money so he must know SOMETHING. But guess what he doesn’t know? ANYTHING ABOUT POLITICS. (I’m not even getting into his ideas of Black peoplein Alaska or their crack head population)

Or…

Could it be that Diddy is savvier than I’m giving him credit for? Is it possible that Diddy was at his home in the Hamptons and heard the news of Sarah Palins Vice Presidential nomination and was like “Dear lord, what sort of pandering nonsense is this? Obviously Mr. McCain wants to woo the women who feel disenfranchised by the Democratic Party and feels this embarrassingly blatant move will net him some sort of voter surge. I cannot, no; I WILL NOT stand for such an obvious ploy to skew this presidential election! I will take my objection to the young people! But wait, they may not understand. They may think since I’m almost 40 years old and insanely rich that we have nothing in common what so ever. OH BUT WAIT! I could use modern technology to my advantage! I can create a video blog and speak to them in the language of the urban youth! They will relate because they will think I am like them and speak in their ignorant dialect!”

I’m going to guess that THAT didn’t happen.

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United right? We’re united right!

2008-08-28T21:10:19Z

It was all about the Clinton/Biden 1, 2 punch on the third night of the Democratic National Convention. And while it was the most exciting night so far at this convention, it was also the hardest for me to swallow.The Clintons have hit the stages yelling to the top of their lungs that their supporting Obama. I personally think they didn’t have any choice in the matter. If the Clintons didn’t fall into line they risked having the democratic ticket destroyed and them being named the culprits. Although they are an amazingly powerful duo in the Democratic party, they probably would have been looked at as lepers had they not jumped in with both feet.

Again I say, I can’t roll with it.

After Hillary’s speech I was pleased that she finally stated to her supporters that they should jump on the Obama bandwagon. But we all realize that Clinton and Husband have spoken so harshly against Obama during numerous TV Interviews and in the press, that the new “We like him” argument seems hypocritical. For example, check out the quote from Hillary while she was still in the race.

“We’ve seen the tragic result of having a president who had neither the experience nor the wisdom to manage our foreign policy and safeguard our national security,” Mrs. Clinton said in a speech on foreign policy at George Washington University. “We can’t let that happen again.” - Hillary Clinton (NY TIMES)

But now her and husband thinks Mr. Obama is grand.

Er…why?

That’s what I noticed the most. They never explained to me what changed their minds. They never said “Obama did this and this opened my eyes.” Hillary was reluctant to even concede. Come on! Bill started talking about how they said he was to young and inexperienced. “Sounds familiar?” he asked the crowd.

YES, YES IT DOES. YOU SAID IT JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO!

So here’s the 2 possibilities of what happend.

1) The Clintons were lying off their asses during the democratic primary and actually realized that Obama was a reasonable choice but in the their blood lust for the Presidency was willing to say any and everything to gain the parties nomination.
2) The Clintons are lying through your teeth right now in hopes of not coming off like dicks at the DNC.
Yes, in order for the Democratic party to come into the Presidential race with a snowballs chance in hell, they need some sort of unity. The Clintons did their part on Nights 2 and 3, but I’m not sure it can possibly heal the rift that was created before.

And Seriously. Someone start throwing paint at the PUMAs. Do something. They’re annoying the holy shit out of me.

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There’s Something about Hillary…

2008-08-27T21:36:24Z

I can’t quite put my finger on it.

It’s like…It’s like…I don’t wish bad things on her. I don’t understand it.

Hillary Clinton spoke at the DNC yesterday during the 2nd night festivities. I was in full “I will hate her forever” mode as I tuned into see her speech. I wasn’t the biggest fan during her campaign for the democratic nomination. (Read: Wished an Alien Invasion upon her home. Not earth. Just her home) I wil also freely admit that her overzealous supporters are not helping the situation at all. With idiocy such as this crazyness floating around and then the PUMAs getting air play I find myself grinding my teeth at the mere mention of Hillary Clinton.

Last night I heard her do a lot of self congratulating (which…come on, you knew she WAS going to do) but I feel like she clearly stated to her supporters to shut the fuck up. She said it best when she threw out;

“I want you to ask yourselves: Were you in this campaign just for me? Or were you in it for that young Marine and others like him? Were you in it for that mom struggling with cancer while raising her kids? Were you in it for that boy and his mom surviving on the minimum wage? Were you in it for all the people in this country who feel invisible?”

I’d argue a lot of of these dingbats would respond “We were in it for YOU!”

I thought, and please note, this was just my own silly logic, but I thought that the problem here was the type of leadership that we currently have. I thought the Democratic party was against the way we are currently being governed and wanted change. Not someone who feels things are fairly decent now and wants to keep it going, but someone who wasn’t apart of the current machine. Not someone who is pro-Iraq, but someone who wants to fix this horrendous mistake of ours. For some strange cooky reason I thought that whoever was the Democratic Nominee, would be the better choice than the one Bush wants to pass the torch to.

Obviously I was mistaken. My bad. Yay, McCain. If ya can’t get Hillary, OBVIOUSLY McCain is the choice.

What was I thinking?

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JoeBama + Mac Mommies

2008-08-26T18:57:06Z

After Obama announced Joe Biden as his official running mate, there was the onslaught of news outlets all vying for our attention. They wanted to give their spin on the new democratic ticket. The NY Post was happy to have their homepage covered with the term: JOEBAMA!

Ahem.

Quick note to all those who might think that they want to refer to Mr. Obama and Mr. Biden as JoeBama: If you do, I will punch you in the face. Seriously. Directly in the face. No warning. I won’t say “I’m sorry can you repeat that?” or “Whatchu’ just say muthaf*cka?” I will just immediately sock you. This will probably not be a pleasant moment for someone trying to play the dozens with me: They’ll start their attack with “Yo Mama” and I’ll probably assume they said “JoeBama” and punch them in the face as well.

Why would they use the same schema that’s used for starlets, socialites and their beaus for the next possible president of the United States of America? I don’t ever remember hearing “Bu-cheny” or “Dick & Bush” when they were running. How about “Clintore” or “Bilal” (which would have gotten the neo soul vote). Sorry, didn’t happen. But NOW we get JOEBAMA.

Did I already threaten physical harm to all those who use this? This threat also extends to O’Biden and any other variation of the term. I’m starting to work out just so I can deliver the proper harm to all those involved.

Another thing I’ve been hearing is that Clinton supporters are saying they’re moving on to McCain for president since they feel their voices “weren’t heard.” The Post and Newsday even wrote that McCain is trying to woo Clinton Supporters.

Here’s my question: What type of Democrat who previously believed in the ideals of the CLINTON campaign CHANGES their mind and decides that McCain is the choice? What chemically imbalanced person now thinks that in the wake of the Clinton campaign breaking down, the obvious choice is to support FRICKEN McCAIN? McCain and Clinton weren’t exactly twins when it comes to policy on almost anything. How could your reaction to a lack of Clinton be to defect to McCain?

They might as well have said “since the Democratic Party has decided to ignore our voices, in protest we’re going to start felating AIDS-infested penises. That’s right. We want to show that when 18 million Americans aren’t heard we will respond in kind!”

“But Elon, that wouldn’t help anything at all if they did that.”

Exactly.

Actually Voting for McCain is worse then that. If they did the whole AIDS-felating thing they would just hurt themselves. Voting for McCain hurts EVERYONE. Stop being stupid Hillary supporters. What about the millions of Obama supporters, hmmm? Should they just be ignored? Candidates lose all the time. Since when is it a national crime? (Well one time it might have been a national crime.)

I am hating almost everybody right now.

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Democratic National Convention - Night 1

2008-08-26T04:53:28Z

Although I did not take a trip out to Denver to see this historic convention I did however host a DNC watching party here in NYC at DCTV.
I’m not going to say anything ill about the speeches tonight…hold on, thats a lie. Why would I even say that right before I’m obviously going to say ill things about said speeches? Was it me or was the speeches lacking charisma? Maybe Pelosi lit the stage up (We we’re watching CNN who decided that looking at Wolf Blitzers mug was way more important than the Speaker of the House..um..well, speaking. Dumbasses) but the people I heard were boring as shit. Ted Kennedy just made me feel bad. Its like seeing your grandfather out and you just really wish he would live his days out comfortably instead of trying to work in the garden Dude, go home. Rest for the love of God. (By the way, who decided that video of him on a yacht was a good idea? We don’t need more cries of privilege and elitism.)

Obama’s sister? Michelle’s brother? Get some speech writers. Fuck that sincerity nonsense. I want to be wowed. I don’t want to believe you sat at home and wrote this. Get a speech coach. You guys are representing more than just your families now. YOU’RE BLACK AMERICA! You didn’t say thing ignorant perse but I would have liked to see the white folks I was surrounded by shocked at the eloquence that you showed.

Jessie Jackson Jr? Seriously Stop bringing up Martin Luthor King. We know. He had a dream. I’m black and soon as he started up I was like “For christ sake”. How awkward must it be for this dude knowing his dad was talking major shit about this dude, and now he has to sing the praises. Oh, and stop preaching. Just speak. Fucking just TALK man!

And CNN, quick question. What the fuck is up with the black facts at the bottom of the screen. Do I really need to be reminded that the first black delegates didn’t show up until 1868? I’d prefer not think of those times. Who the hell thought that was a good idea No, better question, Who the hell o.k’ed that idea? Who saw this idea on his desk and was like “Man, that sounds like GOLD. GET ME SOME NEGRO FACTS IN HERE IMMEDIATELY!”

I will say this. Michelle Obama did bring the goods. I found myself thinking “Man, she’s a better speaker than Hillary by FAR!” That’s gotta sting right? Forget the nominee, his wife is better at hyping people up than you are. Ouchie. She didn’t preach (ahem, Jessie) she just spoke with passion and seemed as if she believed what she was saying and hadn’t practiced it over and over in the mirror (which I’m sure she did, but she didn’t SEEM like it) Kudos to Michelle. She catches a lot of flack but she came off quite well I thought. And seriously, she may be the hottest First lady in 50 years.

I do wish they could have reined in the kids. Somebody cut the Obama daughters mics off! Or atleast the youngest, we kinda have a FRICKEN CONVENTION GOING ON HERE. We’re dealing with sattelites and shit to connect to OBAMA! STOP INTERRUPTING. I assume the conversation in the control booth went something like this.

Control Guy 1: “Dude, the youngest one keeps talking.”

Control Guy 2: “Cut her mic.”

Control Guy 1: “I’m not cutting her mic. You cut her mic. Thats possibly the daughter of the next president. I ain’t doin’ shit!”

Control Guy 2: “Agreed. Let her roll. Hope she doesn’t drop an F’ Bomb.”

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Some sort of TROUT.

2008-08-24T01:30:12Z

This is in fact a BROWN Trout. This pic doesn’t enhance this post at all.

In an interesting turn of events. It seems what I thought was a simple crazy conversation that happened to me one day seems to be an epidemic across the web. People across the country are being randomly messaged about trout. The name seems to switch up. Sometimes we may have ApatheticTrout, Affinetrout, MediumSizedTrout. But the conversation seems to start with the same intro of the conversation that I put up a few posts ago. Do we have an internet phenom on our hands? Or just a truly bored dude who who enjoys some hot trout talk.

Who knows.

But I do know that people are searching about it. And to those people I say “Hi.”

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