http://news.cnet.com/8301-30685_3-10323306-264.html

Posted via web from Elon James White shares things…

Posted via web from Elon James White shares things…

I haven’t been doing my job very well.

I claim that my BrunchGame™ is untouchable. I claim this and yet I have not been documenting Brunch. I Brunch regularly. I have a crew of BrunchTastic™ people who roll with me on all sorts of Brunch Missions (I call them The Black Justice League Of America (#BJLA™). Yes, they’re all Black. Maybe not according to their Race but SOMETHING about them is black. Nails, hair, possibly heart or soul.) And yet…AND YET I HAVE NOT BEEN DOCUMENTING THE BRUNCHGAME™.

I am making a pledge. To #BrunchHard and often. TO BRUNCH ACROSS THE LAND.

I will not tire. I will not falter. I will not…er…not Brunch?

Yes, I DID just quote George W. Bush. THATS HOW SERIOUS THIS IS. #ASKABOUTME

I have also decided to adopt twitter hash tags in regular old blog posts. Me & the Twitter are one. So I’ll be updating this more. This weekend I’ll be in P-Town (with @sarajbenincasa and someone else, whats her name…I dont know… oh right MARGARET M’EFFIN CHO.) and I’ve been told that the town is REALLY gay (and before you get your panties in a bunch, I was told this BY LOTS OF GAY PEOPLE) I’m sorta ecstatic about it because Gays take brunch seriously. I will get on a bike & find lobster and mimosas and life will be good.

And yes. I am stuck in an office all week, so yes, I am bored and yes, thats why I just started ranting about brunch. DOESNT MEAN IM NOT SERIOUS THOUGH.

#TrueStory

Posted via web from We Brunch Hard

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/30/magazine/30FOB-medium-t.html?em

Posted via web from Elon James White shares things…

I'm not sure this mutha works but I'm trying it.

Posted via email from Elon James White shares things…

I do NOT have this mythical focus that you speak of. I’m attemptng to get better. Really. Really. Really. I will be making a concerted effort to get off my ass and make the magic that is blogging happen. None of this makes any sense. You’d think with my G/F in Prague I’d be bitching here about her not being around (It’s what I used to do anyway ) but alas I HAVE NO FOCUS. Oh, and I think I’m cutting off this Twitter posts. Its annoying ME.

Done.

Even as a Black Guy I'd cross the street from this dude.

For July 4th weekend I’ve decided to head to the birthplace of our nation and hang a bit in Philly.

Let me rephrase that.

I had no clue that it was July 4th weekend, and my g/f’s parents live in the burbs of Philly so we decided to head out there just to relax.  I, being a dumbass, never connected the whole “independence” thing to Philly even a little bit. I sent out the incredibly smart tweet of -

“Heading to #Philly for the next few days. Anything happening there?”

This was, of course, met with twitter styled laughter and mocking, which i call Twaughter and Twocking. (I don’t call it that at all. I  just made that up as I typed. I have probably made you lose faith in things I say from here on out and for that I am forever saddened.) It was quite a few twinutes (Twitter Minutes) before I realized my silliness and started to self depricate in order to cover my shame.

I say all of this to say that I’m in Philly. The Girlfriend and I met up with one of her H.S. friends to hang out in town (Thats what the burbs people call the Philly. “Town” like we’re on little house on the prairie) and we went to the DELIGHTFUL “Irish Pub.” Not “An Irish Pub” but a place called “Irish Pub.”  I wasn’t the only black guy there (there was atleast 3) but I did notice one thing above all else.

No one was was slighty afraid of me.

One of the joys of being a Black man is the fear that comes for no apparent reason. Admittedly, I’ve been a a larger fellow in my adult years so it was not only my Blackness that lead to my scary stature but an additional 50 pounds (which i currently have lost, bitches) and now I’m being tossed around like a RAG doll. I had drinks spilled on me, I was poked, knocked, spat upon (conversationally, not aggresively) and barely recieved one sorry!  I remember the time when if someone tripped 3 feet away from me I’d get a sorry and hand wave for good measure. Now? I almost got kicked in the spinal column.  What am I supposed to say to this?

Um…Yes we Can?

Is this some how apart of the new Post-Racial America.  A place where my Blackness no longer buys me a badass card to pull out in case of emergency – long as I didn’t open my mouth (upon hearing my diction I’m immediately laughed and ignored) This is not what I signed up for.  If I’m going to still have Al Sharpton explaining things for me, the damnit I want to ATLEAST be scary.  If not, what did our ancestors fight for?

Oh and the number is 19. The question? How many emails I’m going to get about this obviously sarcastic and ridiculous blog post.

Written July 4th 2009  @1:30am
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“White babies are worth good money” – Michelle Buteau

Seriously. The one thing that clearly has my name on it, I ignore for weeks at at time. That’s because I’m a savy promoter. And by savy I mean incredibly stupid.<
Just in case you just stopped by.

Please check out

This Week in Blackness Season 2 Episode 2 – BET doesn’t Care about Black People.

A Message from the Average Black Person – On the Huffington Post

and

Thats What’s wrong with Black people.

I know, I know. You may notice a patern here. Don’t worry. I also talk about bacon so rest assured at some point in time I will break up the blackness with some sort of pork product.

So I’m a comedian.

At times I do things that might be considered comedic on tape.  Some call this “Telling Jokes.” Sometimes these “Joke” telling events end up online. Sometimes this does not make me happy at all.  For example?

There is so much story to this video.

Besides this just being a few years old so, of course I don’t stand by these jokes anymore. I think I only do one of them and its been revamped. This video is about 3 minutes too long. Now under normal circumstances you could make the argument that I should have made sure the whole set I did was amazing and you’d be reaonsable . Guess what? THIS WAS A “TV” TAPING. They could EASILY edit to make it better. AS THEY SHOULD. I have people HECKLING. It was to the point that I literally threaten a white ladies life. I was absolutely sure she was going to come up missing and they would just roll the tape of me saying “I will kill you” and I was done for.

Oh, and note that its apart of “Urban Extreme.”

Yes. I’m considered “URBAN.” As urban as an unlimited mimosa brunch. What? Thats not really considered urban? I KNOW.

Theres a couple of these floating around if you google. me.  It’s great really. Imagine when you weren’t that great at your job. Now imagine someone taped it, and now put it online for every one to see. It’s magical really. I’m going to go not cut my wrists.