So I’ve been in a relationship for approximately 2 years and 10 months. (Please, hold your applause)

It’s not so much because I’m soooo amazing that someone obviously wanted me and felt that they couldn’t possibly let me go (although I like to say that in mixed company) its more that she’s amused by me and I seem not to be able to function at all with out her. (She reminds me to eat. Seriously. Oh and we love each other. I just realized I didn’t say or imply that) The thing is, every year my beloved takes a trip with her family some where in the world. (since we’ve dated its been Sweden and China) This year is Spain. She’ll be gone for approximately 2 weeks.

This frightens me.

I’m pretty sure upon her return I’ll be reduced to a series of grunts and moans, because she’s what keeps me social (and please note: I’m far from social) But now theres no one to ask me about my day or to force me to ask about theirs.  I’m just left in an apartment to fend for myself. When she went to china I almost DIED!

Lets hope I’m not wallowing in my own filth and saying shit like “me hungry” or “me need clean clothes” when she returns. I’m fairly certain thats not sexy.

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