So I found an old article written about me. It’s amazing! Amazing because I just babble when interviewed. Don’t believe me? Check it out.

Describing White’s take on comedy involves, and in this case that’s is a good thing, a lot of words. “I don’t really understand the term alternative. I call it stand-up, we’re just very pure, straight-forward stand up. We’re not tailoring ourselves to tourist crowds, we’re performing for New York.

What the f**k does that mean? I tailor myself for tourist. I’m not going to make a midtown joke if i got a bunch of folks from Kentucky in the room. Thats just douchey. Why was I being douchey?

The idea is being off the cuff, rather than, ’this is a joke.’ We don’t have a lot of people doing a lot of set up and punch, set up and punch.

I literally hate myself right there. Set Up and punch is absolutely necessary. The idea is not to let the audience see the set up and the punch.

You’re talking a little bit more nonchalantly; you’re more trying to be really yourself, a lot of story telling [like, say,] Tom Shillue. The idea is to be comfortable, like, ‘I’m just here talking, if you find it funny…’

Shut up. Please. Please stop talking…

Funny is whatever I laugh at. I can laugh at anything, it can be really, really silly or it can really, really British (that’s the opposite of silly in my head: British) and I’ll laugh.

Ha! Okay I find that amusing. I still think the opposite of silly is british.

I think it’s more about if that person really believes what they’re saying. So [when it doesn’t work] it’s not so much that they’re not funny, it’s that they don’t really believe what they’re saying, so you don’t really believe what they’re saying. I’ve seen material that isn’t that funny but the person so believes in what they’re saying that it becomes hysterical.

Probably means its funny…

That’s what I care about, I like performance, I’m a very performance-based comic. I lean toward people who put on a show. I think Tom McCaffrey [‘s performance] is awesome. A lot of times my jokes go not so much on what I just said but that you’re looking at me.

Thats why it took a few more years before I got to audition for anything. I am such an ass.

Rob Paravonian says that what makes things funny is making people understand why you think it’s funny.

Valid.

Sometimes he’s just saying stuff and I think, ‘who thinks of this, what is going through your mind?’ [because] it’s so ridiculous. That thing there, making people go with it, what they might not go with, that’s awesome. Comedy is all about understanding and feeling what that person’s feeling. The shows that you enjoy the most happen when you get caught up and lost in them, you almost forgot that you’re being told jokes. Without realizing that that person did [the same act] about 45 times that week. That’s what I think is good.

And thousands of other people think its good too. Dur.

When I was a kid I used to watch Bill Cosby’s [live concert] Himself. I think those are the greatest stories ever. Sometimes he doesn’t even have to tell the joke. When he tells that joke about giving the kids cake for breakfast, he doesn’t even tell the punchline. He just says, my wife comes down the stairs,-

Actually its when he says ‘Until…!” For someone who likes it so much you’d think I would’ve gotten that right.

and he just stops. Because you know what happens already. He has a command of timing, and understanding of knowing what to say and what not to say. He’s a great story teller.”

Interviews are just ways to allow for verbal masturbation. Theres no need for me to say any of this crap. Ah jeez. Im still talking…

And then there’s Dennis Wolfberg. “His eyes used to widen when he said his punch lines. I saw him on the Arsenio Hall show. He was doing his set and was talking about getting into a car crash. And he never cursed.”

Oh WAAAIT! I remember this interview. I was high on theraflu and Alcohol. Jesus. Never let me talk to people that are recording what I’m saying if im on theraflu. I read this and wanted to punch this guy in the face. And by ‘this guy’ i mean me.

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