I’ve been hearing a lot about Last Comic Standing. It seems this year they went American Idol style and had a panel of 3 past contestants as judges. I say ‘Ive heard’ because I didn’t go this year to the big cattle call.
Why? Cause I’m a bitch.
I couldn’t gather the balls to go sit outside […]

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Dear very fortunate ladies,
I have a penis.
Trust me. I’ve checked. I used to check way more than I do now, but rest assured I still have my mighty morphin power ranger.
I think you ladies mistake my general niceness as a sign that I might have traded my jiblits for…um..I dont have a good euphemism for […]

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I live in a house with 2 women.
Only 1 of whom I have sex with, which I think and everyone involved agrees, is a good thing.
Occasionally they start to talk to each other, which I assume is very normal for roommates do, but for some reason their voices come together they form this new voice. […]

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I’m poor.
I’m also what some might consider to be overweight. Fat even.
I’ve come to the conclusion that GOD* is keeping me poor to keep me alive. If I had limitless cash I would eat and drink whatever I wanted.
“Excuse me, can I have an order of Shrimp Alfredo, 3 steaks, an order of ribs […]

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And this is why 13 year old boys heads are exploding all over America.

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Click here to know what douchy looks like.
Cosby? Fucking COSBY. How ridiculously stupid do you have to be or better yet, how brazen do you have to be. I totally blew off watching his special because every time I see him perform it hurts my soul.
Thats not some special literary device, it actually hurts my […]

Popularity: 8% [?]

I‘ve never liked a show when everyone else likes a show.
Anyone who’s spoken to me directly for more than 20 minutes know that I’m a huge fan of the sitcom “Friends”. They’re confused as to why I’m a big fan, but none the less I’m a big flonkin’ fan. But or 4 seasons of the […]

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But interviews when its flipping 70 degrees while i’m wearing a suit, tie, and button up shirt? Way suckier.
Interviewed with a place that I actually liked. Thats strange. I hate everything. But I actually liked the place. I liked the interview guy. It’s kinda a great fit.
I know you’re waiting for the sarcasm. Strangely enough. […]

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So I went by the lovely Desiree Burch’s weekly romp known as SMUT and it was cool. I felt a little bit confined because I’m supposed to be running 7 minutes for an audition and fact is SMUT is all about off color and dirty shit.
My Audition 7 minutes? Not so much.
In fact, my 7 […]

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Wow. I’ve obviously had nothing to say as of late. 4 posts for the entire month of February. With so little on my mind what could possibly drive me back to my blog to share with the 16 people (Who I have no clue as to why there still coming) that read this thing.
2 Words.
“The […]

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