My mother isn’t much older than me. She has me by about 20 years. But for some strange reason those 20 years are like 150 when we talk. My mom trumps me about everything. No matter the subject, she is an expert on it and if I offer a differing opinion I will quickly be told that I am, in fact the younger of us and obviously know nothing.

I’m almost 30 people.

(Oh dear God. Did I just type that? I still have a few years to 30 but the fact that I’m closer to thirty than 20 just made my heart jump.)

But what my question is, at what point do I have enough knowledge that would allow for my opinion to matter to my mother. Answer? NEVER.

“What were you talking about last e.j.dubs?”

My mother and I was discussing the word “Bitch”.

She was pointing out that if a man will call one of his ex’s a bitch or a woman a bitch at all then he will refer to women in general as bitches. I disagreed. I then said what I thought would completely annihilate her argument.

‘Well, what if the women he’s referring to is actually a bitch?’

It does happen you know.

My Mom did/does not agree. She thinks if a man does what a woman who is considered a bitch does, then he’s just assertive and and a go getter. I pointed out to my mom that if a man was doing what a bitch was doing it just makes that guy a douche bag. Perhaps an asshole. Fact is I almost never refer to women as assholes. Yet I use the word asshole a hell of a lot.

Why? Because I know a lot of assholes.

ANNNNND I call men bitches too. Because I know quite a few men who are in fact bitches. But these points were null and void in the court of Joyce White. I don’t make sense and argue just because I like to argue. “That ADD of yours is kicking in.” Yeah. Maybe it is.

Her argument bothers me though. I dont know why. I should just let it go and stop acting like a bitch.

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