And by him, I mean the guy that I currently see in the mirror.

I can’t explain exactly whats happened, but what I do know is that the current dude in whats supposed to be my own reflections doesn’t seem to match up with my “mental image” of myself. I see me from years past. I’ve become quite comfortable with that concept of myself and so now with this completely different dude in the mirror, its a little confusing.

A lot of things don’t match up. Like me having a loving girlfriend. That is not in my mental image. I’m the one who’s single. Nice, but single. I have momentary highlights with chicks but not long lasting relationships.

And here I am. Virtually 1 year after I got all gaga over my current chica. That is a very…how do you say…harsh difference.

I’ve accepted I’m diabetic. I knew it for a while but I fought it for a long time. Now I just embrace it. I’m perfectly okay with them testing me for more heart shit. I accept there’s a good chance that something is afoot.

I shave my head now. As you see in that lovely picture next to this post. I’m all bald. I still see myself with hair. I think of myself as a young punk with a smart mouth and a completely uncharted but still bright future.

And what am I? I’m a virtual 30 year old with a serious girlfriend, health concerns so all of a sudden I need health insurance, a more stable financial status.

What, the fuck, happened?

I think this is what growing up is. Its disconcerting. Seriously, I’m not okay with it.

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