So last night, after spending some quality time at Sweet Paprika (My Friday night want and desire) I get a text from my good friend Fahnon Bennett. He says some goings of the outage is about to occur, and I immediately throw my hat in. Lets make it happen captain. I throw one back for the homies who were lost along the way and I cab it downtown Eisenberg style (i.e. Ms. Ophira took a cab home and I mooched a ride to a halfway point)

And then I enter Sin Sin.

20 minutes later, I exit Sin Sin.

It was sausage fest 06 in my favorite dive club(new phrase) and my partners in crime, Mr. Bennett and Nate Dogg were not happy about it. I didn’t care because I’m currently renting a farm.* So we drive over to the overly complicatedly named bar, BOBS to see if we can rectify the situation.

We’re quickly told to go fuck our selves.

Well, maybe not exactly that, but they weren’t letting any single fella’s in and so we were assed out. A young lady was out side witnessing our plight and offered to help us get in, although she deduced, that her 1 vagina would only allow one of us to get in. We made some jokes about going in and leaving our bizzoys outside, but it was all jokes. No one would actually leave the other 2 outside to go party like a rockstar right?

Enter Nathan.

Nathan decides he’s going in. At first I think he’s kidding, because he was one of the main reasons we left Sin Sin. He couldn’t now leave us in the proverbial and literal cold. But he’s saying ‘Yeah, I’m gonna go in.’

Me and Fahnon look at each other with a kind of squint, but we don’t make a big fuss about it. “Go on in.” I say.

“Oh,” he remembers, ” I forgot my jacket.”

F.Bennett and I both say he can’t go in and have his jacket. It’s one or the other. He insists, and Fahnon hands over the keys to the car to allow him to retrieve his belongings. He comes back and bids us a fond farewell at 2:50 in the morning, when we don’t have much other choices in the clubbing allotted time.

I immediately start yelling “BETRAYER!”

Because, well, he betrayed us. Fahnon points out this isn’t that abnormal for Mr. N. Frater because he has been known to betray before.

But as we sit in the car we have a clear view of the club entry. Nathan and newly acquired vagina try to gain entry to said club and upon the securities recollection that Frater was in fact not actually with this girl, he was not allowed safe passage within. I literally see his face fall from hopeful to defeated.

I turn to Fahnon and say ‘We’re not letting him back in the car right?’ Come on! He left us high and dry! Fahnon is saying we shouldn’t, but he notices another club further up the block, as we drive off and I take a picture of Nathan, for good measure. (See Below)

We go about 30 yards from where we were, and we park. We decided to go into the next club, sapphire. Nathan soon see’s that we’re in front of the club and walks down and says “Oh is this where we’re going?” Fahnon and I both look at each other and then look at him and say “We, aren’t you getting into that club over there?”

“Oh we could go back and try, persistence is key.”

“No go to your club.”

He then says “Aight” then goes.

We enter the club where basically theres no one there, except a group of really under age looking Spanish chicks. Nathan follows us in and the night continues.

We we leave I again suggest that Fahnon leaves Nathan. Betrayers don’t get rides home I think. But Fahnon has a better heart than I do because he never seemed to really consider leaving Nathan. “This is what I expect of Nathan” he kept saying.

So Nathan gets in and within about 5 minutes of him being in the car the subject of his deserting us comes up. Or possibly, I just yelled out “BETRAYER!” and then he starts to defend his actions. He didn’t leave us, he was trying to go in to find someone he knows so that he could get us all in. He didn’t plan for the group to separate.

“But you never said that Nathan”

“I did say that!”

“You didn’t say that dude”

“I didn’t say I Said that.”

This is basically a sample of the argument that went on. It got to the point where I just felt my intelligence was being insulted. You betrayed, then lie about your betrayal and when we say we know you’re lying you LIE SOME MORE!

Then I brought up what would surely end all of this.

“Nathan, if you hadn’t planned on leaving why did you get your coat from inside the car?”

“I was cold”

“Nathan, you were going in doors”

“It was cold outside.”

“LIES!” I yell. He then gets so upset he demands to get out of the car. Fahnon says ‘I’m not kicking you out of my car, but if you’re gonna lie and demand to get out I’ll stop.”

He demanded.

Fahnon Stopped.

Then there was no Nathan.

Moral of story: If your going to lie, make sure your suckers werent’ witnessing the whole event. Seriously, lying is a lot harder when people know you’re lying.

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