I don’t believe in God.

The previous belief that I have, if read by my mother, is probably enough to make her cry a little bit inside. My mother is ridiculously religious and the idea of her one and only child scoffing at the belief of his mother, his mothers father, and his mothers fathers mother(my family skips fathers every other generation. Can’t explain it, but good thing for my kids) pains her a great deal.

My entire family is religious. To them the idea of not believing the bible is absurd. I remember when I was growing up I was told never listen to anyone who ever said anything contrary to the bible because the “Devil is a liar” and is a wizard at manipulating people into believing stuff.

That’s a brilliant argument against logic.

Upon me actually listening to other people and reading things for myself my carefully sheltered mind started to have minor freak outs. All of a sudden the very ideals that created the person who’s here today all of a sudden made absolute zero sense.

So now I stand a godless man in a godfearing land. Our president refers to god and it kind of freaks me out. Him saying God or saying Zeus is about the same thing to me. I’m sure if someone sat down they could totally explain why Zeus is real and you have to believe.

I say all this to say this. My mom is sick. Actually she’s always kind of sick. Fact is I’ve started to try to start dealing in my own mind that she may not be around. Her church would want her to be buried via some sort or church ceremony and I don’t think I have the patience to deal with some sort of big to do based in things I don’t believe. Me grieving my mom would probably be the top priority id have, not dealing with make believe fairy gods that her friends would want me to adhere to.

Why did I write this?

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