Survivor: Cook Island.
The cast has been announced and they’ve given us a twist. The teams are going to be divded by races.
WHAT?!?!?!?
No. NO. Veto I say. You may not do such a crazy and wild thing. I do not ACCEPT this. I really, really don’t think I want everyone looking at some team the CBS […]

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I don’t feel old. I feel the exact same age I was when my mom Punk’d me and told me that the love of my then 10 year old life had agreed to be my valentine.
Yes. Thats a true story. She thought I wouldn’t be stupid enough to fall for it. I showed her.
Ahem.
But my […]

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I haven’t properly chronicled the life and times of a man who lost his wallet and…well…everything else that proves he is who he SAYS he is. Its been a bit of a hectic time.
And by hectic I mean a slow methodical torture only equaled…wait, nothing equals this.
You think I’m kidding folks. I couldn’t pick up […]

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If you’ve read this blog for a while you might remember a lovely post when I went to all black room to perform comedy. You can read that >>here<<. Then you can read the aftermath >>here<<
Indeed.
Last night I was called in as a last minute replacement for Larry Bailey for this show called “Hey Mon!” […]

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It is almost 1 week since I broke my face.
I’m still getting dizzy. Like if lean back and put my head back up, boom dizzy. I understand the whole ‘Head Trauma’ thing but this is a little ridiculous. How am I supposed to go back to a life of bitterness and sarcasm if I […]

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Okay. I haven’t hurt myself in a few days. Thats nice I think.
The swelling has gone down so now it doesnt look so bad, but the issue now is my eyeball is all red and shit. Thats not fun. And I am starting to be consistantly dizzy when I get up from laying down. If […]

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Ouch. And the thing is, I look great in this picture compared to what I look like now. Swelling and black and blues have occured. Fun times.
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Yes. I almost died. Again.
Its almost not that interesting when “I” almost die because it’s not uncommon. It’s not like its shcoking. I almost die, people go ‘OH GOD!’ then once they see I’m alive they go ‘AGAIN?’
“How’d you almost die this time Elon?”
Okay. First I should give you a tad bit of backstory.
Before I […]

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