So the 4th of July has come and gone.

I’ve learned a very valuable lesson this year. I must stop going to BBQs. I just don’t know when to say when.

There’s something magical about a plate of ribs and a cold beer in your hand. No one offers you ribs and beer and you go ‘Eh, I think I’m gonna pass.’ Something has truly gone wrong for this to occur. The space-time continuum has been disrupted. The order of life has been challenged!

Or…you’re either

a) A recovering Alcoholic
b) A vegetarian
c) A type of annoying person who are like ‘I don’t eat red meat’

But baring those anomalies, no one says no. These incidents are just weird occurrences. Like humans with 3 nipples. It may happen, but its not supposed to be.

But the average person shall take part. What they WONT due is try to eat and drink their weight in these particular substances. This takes a special type of idiot. One who lacks control, will power and basically a gag reflex. Because at some point during the 4th my body should have just said ‘NO MORE’!

So now I sit here in front of the computer. Still full from hours of eating and drinking. Swearing to myself that I’m going jogging tomorrow. I need to burn off the weight I just gained. I have like 2 months to do it.

“Why 2 months Elon?”

‘Cause that’s when Labor day is. I can ward off BBQ’s till then. But on that fateful weekend I know the vicious cycle shall repeat all over again.

I think I just felt a rib kick.

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