What?

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I was fired from my lovely day job.

It was a temp job so it was to end soon enough but Jesus. I was actually fired. I wasn’t told ‘You’re fired.’ I was just told don’t come back.

“Elon, what the FUCK did you do that caused this sort of dismissal?”

I did the unspeakable. I did the unthinkable…I…I…

I asked to be paid.

…

Okay. No one knows what I’m talking about. So lets break this down shall we?

I started my day job after being hooked up by Bennett who knew the chick who was kinda hiring. Job simple. Office Monkey with some tech shit on the side. Fine. I can do that. I go into for the interview and I meet Lawrence, a chill guy who just wants to make sure everything is cool. He mentions he doesn’t even understand my resume so he knows I’m over qualified. Tells me the hours are like 8 to 5, maybe 6. Pay rate 8-11 dollars.

Whoa. What?

I’ve never been paid that. My first job ever was 12 dollars an hour. The idea of making 8-11 dollars was crazy. Madness. Crazy madness.

But I wanted money now.

So I took the job. But I wasn’t exactly sure what my pay rate was. 8-11 is kinda vague.

I’m at the job and I’m asking Lawrence what’s my rate. He keeps saying he doesn’t know. He has to ask the big boss. He just keeps saying that. He has to ask his boss. Finally he tells me the that the rate is 9.

9 fucking dollars.

I start to tear up a bit because I was receiving this intense pain from my pride. But fine. I’ll bide my time. I ask when do we get paid? Like in 2 weeks. I’m like ‘whatevs’

So the days start to go by. My co-worker is working like 15 hour days. They’re trying to get me to do the same and I’m like …’er…no?’ The idea of busting my ass for 15 hour days at 9 dollars an hour isn’t very appealing. I have shows at night. I have engagements with my G/F. I didn’t sign on to this gig to lose my life. I just want to make some money so I may go to the next project.

Still I log some decent times. 12 hours here. 13. 5 hours there. But most hover between 8 and 10.

I ask Lawrence about the pay date again and he tells me “Next Tuesday” which was a week from the day it currently was. Im like cool.

Tuesday comes.

I’m like ‘Hey, are we getting the checks?’

“Later.”

Then later I ask “Are we getting the checks?”

“later”

Then I’m told we’re not getting the checks. Tomorrow. I then ask ‘Are you sure, tomorrow definitely?’ and Im assured tomorrow will be the day.

Tomorrow(Which is actually today) comes.

I ask numerous times about the checks. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

Finally he realizes there’s nothing for me to do for the day and he tells me I can go home. I’m like ‘Cool, but what about the checks?’ Mr. Lawrence says his boss isn’t there and I can wait if I want but I’m off the clock.

This is where it goes all awry.

The idea of the ‘You can wait but your off the clock.’ was that I’d obviously leave since I’m not being paid to stay there. I’ll just let him push me off again. But I need money folks. I logged a good amount of time at this place. I’d love to be paid.

So I wait. Off the Clock.

About 40 minutes later he comes back and says ‘Yeah, (his boss) isn’t coming back anytime soon. He might not be back till closing so you might as well leave.’

Really. So after promising me pay, now all of a sudden the boss is no where to be found? Did I mention I’m being paid in personal check? PERSONAL FUCKING CHECK. That means, that at any point in time Boss guy can just scribble a check to me and be done with it. But I’m being told to go fuck myself.

I end up staying another 5 minutes just trying to figure out what I’m goingo to do. Next thing you know boss guy strolls through the door! Coincidence? I think not. Fucking Lawrence knew he was close, he just wanted me out of the office.

So I stay. And I wait patiently. I wait patiently for another hour and a half. I don’t even say anything to Lawrence. I just sit in the office waiting for him to tell me what the deal is. He keeps saying ‘I don’t know when he’s going to do it.’ Then after the boss who was just on the phone and reading a paper says he has to go so he wants an update quickly, Lawrence then says ‘Yeah, he’s not gonna have enough time.’

WHAT!?!?

No. Not acceptable. I’m like ‘But you told me it’d be today. I have bills and things. I kinda have to start this process. Your giving me a personal check, I cant do anything for like 3 business days. I kinda need to get this going.’

‘I don’t know what to tell you.’

‘But i need this done.’

‘If you want to wait another half hour fine.’

He then storms into the office. Muttering under his breath. I can literally see him mouthing curses. He finally talks to his boss and berates me. Paints a completely false picture of the situation. And finally gives me a check.

For 8 dollars an hour.

This pisses me off. Really? 1 dollar an hour? Not that big a deal, yeah it ended up being over 100 dollars extra he owed me but it was the fucking principle.

‘Lawrence, you told me 9 dollars an hour.’

‘No. 8.

‘But you told me 9 dollars an hour.’

‘No I didn’t. I don’t recall that.’

This fucker is lying to my face.

Then he starts yammering on about how my 8 to 10 hour days aren’t enough, cause I’m ‘Cutting out’ and I don’t tell him when I’m leaving. Which is hilarious because he told me to tell the time keeper when I’m leaving not him.

Yet I’m wrong now.

I don’t work enough hours. I refuse to do work, yet I was scheduled for the next few days. Bad worker me was just fine to work long as I didn’t demand to be paid. He short changed me then stared me in the face like I’m a bitch. Then tells me I’m done there.

He then storms off.

So basically. I hate them. I want nothing but pain and suffering to come to the whole project they’re working on. And personally I know it will go bad. I saw a lot of underhanded dealing and just wrong shit happening. When the smoke is clear I know shit will hit the fan.

And I’ll have a new 15 minutes for my set.

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