I’ve lost a lot of weight in the past year. I can stand to lose another 40 or 60 pounds. ‘The Girl’ is especially confused by my weight loss since it seems some of it has happened in the time we’ve been together.

She feels that a diet consisting of cookies and chili dogs can’t possibly allow you to lose weight. I disagree! She sees me eat 4 cookies and eat 2 hot dogs and she’s horrified. Little does she know I used to eat 4 or 5 hot dogs, 10 cookies, and then a pint of ice cream. Then I’d sit at a computer and not move for 15 hours.

I got fat not because I have a slow metabolism. I got fat cause I put effort into it. I worked long and hard to get as big as I did. Alot of people would stop after they drank a 2 liter of Hawaiian punch in 10 minutes.

Not me.

I’d buy 2 cause I knew i’d blow through the first 2 liters. Then id sip on the next 2 liters for another hour or so.

I’d buy 3 heroes because I knew that 1 hero was out of the question. 2 heroes? Might atleast get me moving, but it take 3 of em for me to feel good inside.

I used to order delivery of food when I was thirsty. I was too lazy to go to the store so I’d order food just to get the soda. Of course once the food came I had to eat right? Right? One time I ordered just soda. I was too full from eating so much other shit that food couldnt be an option but I was thirsty, so i ordered 5 2 liter sodas from dominos.

They were not amused. But they delivered them and I drank them. In about a day or so.

So if you know someone who used to be fat but their losing weight while eating horribly. Ask them what they ate BEFORE.

ejw

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