So at 5:17, March 25th 2006, my mother met my girlfriend.

Now you may have known around the exact time it occured if you had been watching the news. It seems at approximately the same time Peru was attacked by locust. Coincedence? Or prophecy fullfilled? You make the call.

Of course The Girl had plans in her own head about meeting my Mom. She’s like ‘What should we bring her?’

Well. I have a bag of laundry that could I need done…

She of course did not feel that to be a suitable gift. She decided she wanted to bring my mother flowers. She starts asking me what type of flowers my mother likes.

‘Umm…pretty ones?’

I had never felt so unequivically male. I had no clue as to what to suggest. I just wanted to get this done with. My mother then decides she’s not cooking and she’s going to take me and The Girl out to eat. I think of this as a blessing because maybe I can get Fahnon and his chick to come with us.

‘Hey Fahnon, wanna come to dinner with me andEmandmymother’

‘Hahahahahahaaha’

So that was the end of that idea.

Then comes the drama of deciding where to eat. I’ll spare myself the pain of re-living that particular conversation.

We then get to my Mothers and i swear I could actully see ripples in reality. This wasn’t happening. My Mother and the The Girl was not in the same room. This was some sort of Acid trip. I obviously had gotten high before hand right? My mother as I figured was very sweet to The Girl and The Girl was sweet to my Mother and they kept looking at me, I guess trying to figure out at what point would i just implode.

I did NOT implode. I cried a little but no implosion.

I’ll finish this 2morrow.

ejw

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