So after The Pro Shop on Sunday night, my good friends Fahnon and Nathan decided to hang out at Sin Sin with me and enjoy the parties that were taking place. It being a three day weekend more people were out and about and ready for a good time. The Pro Shop was a good show and I was happy that it went off with out too much of an issue and decided to kick back with a few beers.

Rob Cantrell had opened the show with a hillarious joke about eating pizza. The joke was so funny and painted such an awesome picture of pizza, Me, Fahnon and Nathan all now NEEDED pizza. After the show had ended we were going to go search for pizza but the one pizza shop that was closest was closed and we’d actually have to walk atleast 3 or 4 blocks for pizza elsewhere, which then would require us to get our coats out of coat check and that was just too much trouble.

So we skipped dinner.

So we’ve all started to drink and it was a fine, fine time. I had a couple of drink tickets left over from the show and I was just ordering Heinekins. Then Victor Varnado showed up and jumped into the merriment. People are talking and dancing all around us, theres a band playing some smooth Reggae and its fun times in the city.

Then it starts to get a little hazy for me.

I remember Victor having to leave and Nathan running around doing Nate type shit. I remember Fahnon coming back and forth into the conversation I was having. The next thought I remember having was ‘I should start dancing’ which, if you know me, means that I was obviously toasted. Then I remember wanting another beer.

Next thing you know I was dancing. Alone. In front of a mirror.

Why? Cause I was impressed with my obvious dancing ability of course. Ya see when I drink, the alcohol mixes with my inate blackness and a weird mix occurs I start to sway, but to the beat, giving the appearance of someone who may know how to dance. But for the first time I saw myself in this state and was incredibly impressed by my own movement and decided to dance the night away. This one girl tried to dance with me and I danced with her for approximately 30 seconds, and then I decided that this chick was cramping my style.

So I went back to dancing alone in the mirror.

Then it gets hazy again.

The next thing I remember was being outside and trying to look for Fahnons car. Fahnon had drank just as much, if not more, than I had and he hadn’t eaten dinner either. He and Nathan started to argue about the wear a bouts of the car and Nathan, who some how was sober, was the one who actually had any ability to locate things.

Fahnon decided he was going to drive us home. Nathan and I decided he was NOT. We’re trying to get the keys from Fahnon but he’s giving us his logic for why he was going to Drive.

‘Is it my Car? IS IT MY CAR? I can drive my car. I took the hit. I can drive it.’

Nathan and I stared at each other and kinda just tilted our head at the insane logic.

Now Fahnon gets in the car. And starts to pull out.

Have I mentioned I was drunk? I just feel I should make this point abundently clear before I reach this next point in the story.

I decide, in order to stop my drunk friend who shouldn’t be driving, the only thing I can do is to jump on top of his car. Thats right. Throw myself on to the hood of his car and then, THEN when he sees me on the hood he will stop and Nathan will then be able to secure the keys and all will be right with the world.

So I jump. On to the hood. Of a car. With a drunk man behind the wheel.

Once I get on to the hood on the car, T.J. Hooker style and try to tell Fahnon to not drive. Fahnon decides to hit the gas and break suddenly. The car stops short but I remain on it. I think drunk Fahnon takes this as a challenge. He then decides to hit the gas AGAIN.

AGAIN.

He gets it up to like 20 or 25 pretty fast and then hits the brakes again. I am sent HURDLING through the air. About 30 feet. According to Nathan I landed right next to another car that was pulling out of its space. Nathan started to freak out. Why? Because he basically was sure that I was dead. If I didnt die from the impact hitting the ground, I was killed when the other car ran over me when it pulled out.

When Nate gets the the front of the car he see’s me there. Motionless. He is panicking.

The reason for the motionless…er…ness…was because When i hit the ground(with a tremendous thud by the way) I decided to stay there. I was drunk. I was tired. The club was hot and it didnt feel so bad to be on the cold concrete. Now admittingly my ankle was hurting but whatever. I felt I could take a nap right there. Nate starts yelling am I okay, am I okay. I decide that maybe this is not the best place to lay down and I get up. Fahnon by the way is dying of laughter. DYING. He then hands over the keys to Nate cause, I think at this point nate might kill’em.

So I guess I wasn’t exactly hit by a car. I was more propelled from a car and landed on concrete. Yeah. Thats about it. Who’s not letting Fahnon forget this?

Its me.

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