I’m going back to Corporate. I don’t know when, but I’m going.

I hate corporate america. I hate it with a passion as intense as 5000 suns. That are covered with little militant arab folks yelling something about challah bread or something. I despise the politics and the way things work and basically everything about the stupid stupid world of cubiciles and ties to work.

But I like money.

I’m sooo poor right now. I’m so broke i dont even know what money looks like. If someone gave me a 500 dollars in cash i’d stare at it with a look of confusion and frustation. As if it were covered in hieroglyphics (by the way, i got this spelling write on the first try! How do I know? Google told me so *EDIT* - It was later pointed out to me by ‘The Girl’ that I was so proud of hieroglyphics that i spelled right wrong. i would correct it but I’m like ’screw it’.)

I’d like some cash. And my only choices are Corporate or Drug Selling. Now I’d be totally fine with some happening drug dealing but I have no clue as to how I would go about said process. I don’t know how to get drugs just for me. Let alone enough to have a wide distribution. Maybe theres a columbian drug lord who’s a fan of my blog and has a need for a man in the West(i.e north america bitches) and can supply me with a little coke ‘I’ ina for me to start my own mini drug cartel .The Brooklyn Cocaine Company. Come on. I already have a brand for this shit! Come on Salazar, or Mendoza, or whatever your name is Mr. Columbian drug Tzar, give a brother a chance. I dont want to wear a suit. I don’t want to fix servers. I want to party at clubs and have coke sniffed off of my penis.*

So I implore you Mr. Columbian drug Tzar. Save me from my cruel fate. Its only a matter of days really before I’m back in a carpeted hell where i can be summoned by stupid nextels and blackberries or some sort of hellspawn of the two COMBINED!

I’m gonna go weep now.

*All Cocaine sniffed off of my penis will be sold at a 10 percent discount. What, you thought I was paying for that shit? Fuck that.

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