When I was young I was shot.

Oh no, don’t worry. It was only in the face.

Not many people know this particular fun fact about me because I dont speak about it often. Normally you had to either be one of my closest friends or I was abnormally smitten with you to get such information out of me. But as of late I have actually tackled this subject on stage. Thats right. I’ve been trying to tell jokes about it.

This is a very disturbing concept for me.

Fact is, when I was shot, it led to me losing my eye. Yes. I have one eye. I know, your thinking “But your still so adorable Elon.” And your right, but still. Its a sore subject for me. It was a major issue growing up. The fact is I grew up in the hood and it just didn’t seem like a good idea to have people knowing that you wanted to rob me all you had to do is hit me in the good ey eand I would be easy pickens.

But there was a completely different problem then.

People have always thought me to have a lazy eye. Or think that I’m cross eyed. Which is great because when you’re 14, the best thing that could possibly happen is that everyone starts to think that you cross eyed. Self Esteem? Shot. thats right. Its basically shot in the face. Like me. But I atleast survived. My self Esteem? Still kinda in a coma.

It came at a time when I was going through a state of flux. I had just started going to school in Manhattan(for a Brooklyn boy like myself that was a major thing) I had gotten my first girlfriend, who my mother hated and called a heifer everytime she thinks about her till this very day. And I was starting to get good at sports.

Did you read that? After being an incredibly goofy kid, I had a g/f, in the city, and was playing sports. I was on my way to being a normal fucking kid.

Then I was shot. Oh cruel fate. You shall get yours…

So now I’m trying to talk about this thing openly. One of the greatest sources of pain in my entire life, I’m now discussing regularly. I’m uneasy. Someone mentioned it to me in passing like 2 days ago and I litterally stopped an just stared at them like ‘How do you know about my greatest pain’ and they quickly reminded me a room full of people knew about it cause I just gave the equivelent of a 10 minute dissertation on it.

And the thing is if you are to look at the timeline of my life, if I wasn’t shot everything that is right now would not be. I am what I am because of the last 13 years. If I would’ve stayed in my city School, if i wouldve continued playing sports and gaining a healthy self esteem, the person that is who I am wouldnt be. People would’ve never been met. Friends I have now, would be strangers passing in the street.

I wonder.

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