So I have a Girlfriend.

Not a Girl_space_friend. But an actual, certified ‘I probably shouldn’t eat cheese cause if I do I’ll snore and then she wont be able to sleep and I don’t want that trouble’ type girlfriend.

Who’s confused by this idea?

Oooh! Oooh! Me! Me!

There is now another human being who could concievably become upset with me if were not to call her for a few days. Not only could she(and most likely would) get mad at me, she has THE RIGHT. She wouldn’t even be WRONG to give me shit. Thats just so weird to me. Like if my friends gave me shit now for not calling them I’d be like ‘Kiss my ass, what you miss me or somethng mutha fucka?’ Thereby questioning there man hood and causing them to back off immediately. But now Not only can I not start my response with ‘Kiss My ass’ I’d have to apologize. I’D HAVE TO APOLOGIZE!

You may not know this people, but I’m slightly self absorbed. But now I have to be aware of another human being. I’M SUPPOSED TO BE NICE TO SOMEONE!

I CANNOT EAT CHEESE!

Have I mentioned I love cheese? Its in my famlies BLOOD. My grand father woud eat cheese in his outmeal. HIS OATMEAL! The man loved cheese and I am his kin. But I have some sort of thing with dairy. It’s like an allergy or something, but when i eat my nose gets clogged and i cant breathe and I snore terribly. Now with out a girlfriend it doesnt matta. I’ll drink melted cheese as a beverage with my meal. Now? I’m buying chips at the store and im like ‘er…will nacho flavored chips make me snore? i shoud get sour cream and onion. WAIT! will it have enough sour cream in it to clog me up? Dear lord WHY hath thou forsaken me!’

ARGH!

I’m going to go now. And specifically not eat anything cheese related.

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