…Elon James White:

The UNIVERSE: Thank you guys for coming out today. I know we all have very hectic schedules so I’m going to try to make this brief. I’ve worked with you all many times and I have to say that we’ve done some damn decent work wouldn’t you all agree?

HAPPINESS: Yes, definitely.

SELF ESTEEM: Can’t really complain there buddy.

LOVE: It is in fact ALWAYS a pleasure.

DISSAPOINTMENT: I guess.

GOD: Oh Dissapointment. One day you’ll be in a good mood. Anyway, I’ve brought you here today about Mr. Elon James White.

HAPPINESS: I haven’t seen him in a long time.

DISSAPOINTMENT: Elon? Thats my NIGGA. I’m with him like ALL the time.

SELF ESTEEM: I’ve heard he’s been looking for me but we keep missing each other.

LOVE: Who’s Elon?

The UNIVERSE: Ahem, yes…well I think its time that we should re-map our dealings with the man. Its a new year. A dawn of a new day and even Elon deserves a shake up on his life don’t ya think?

SELF ESTEEM: But he’s so annoying. The few times i’ve actually tried to talk to him he pretended like i didnt even exist.

HAPPINESS: I almost never see the guy. Last time I ran into him it was only for a quick second when BARON VAUGHN tripped and fell. But…shit…wow, before that I hadn’t seen him since it was .99 cent whopper day at Burger King.

DISSAPOINTMENT: Well me and Elon just signed a 10 year lease. Its me, Elon and this chick Elon’s been friends with for a little while, um…whats her name? I think her name is Comedy. I think she’s a dirty little whore but Elon keeps her around for some strange odd reason.

LOVE: Who the FUCK is Elon?

The UNIVERSE: I’m just saying. I think a shake up is in order. Self-Esteem,why don’t you try to spend some real quality time with the boy? Let him see how to have fun with you. Be his friend. Unconditionally

SELF ESTEEM: Yeah, he’ll never believe that.

DISSAPOINTMENT: Or he will and then I’ll come home early and just mess with him. I love to mess with him

LOVE: Okay seriously, who in holy fuck is this Elon guy? He doesn’t sound interesting. I think I’m not gonna have anything to do with the guy.

The UNIVERSE: ITs not really a choice now is it?. This is how its gonna go down! Dissapointment, i know you are gonna be around, fine, but try to stay out of his way for a while. And please let Elon and Comedy have a little fun. Maybe Happiness, you can go out for coffee with Elon and see if you can bring a little sunshine into his life. Self-Esteem. You’re gonna start calling the boy. You will have a healthy relationship with him. Oh, and tell your cousin ARROGANCE to stay his distance. I know when you aren’t able to give some quality time to someone you like to send your cousin to keep people company. DONT DO IT!

SELF-ESTEEM: Oh come on!

The UNIVERSERSE: Im sorry are you about to say something?

SELF-ESTEEM: No. Sheesh. You dont have to be so pissy about it.

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