So yesterday I recieved some fan mail. It was this guy from England. Matter a fact, read it yourself

Hi Elon James, May I first say how much I enjoy your work, I
heard a bit of your “act” and I became a fan straight away, you’re hilarious! I downloaded the clip from your website and I was laughing so much that it almost hurt! In case you were wondering where I heard about you, I followed a link from a website called “Chuckle Monkey”. I have sent you this e-mail to therefore ask if it was possible for me to have your autograph, as I collect autographs of comedians/ bands that I like, so if you could send me an autograph, I would be very grateful, thanks I would come along to one of your live shows and ask you in person, but as I live in Britain, it’s fairly unlikely that I’ll get the chance.

Anyway, I just thought I would ask, and also say how much I enjoy your work, I look forward to hearing back from you, but until then take care, keep up the good work, bye for now,

My first instinct upon reading this was “Who’s fucking with me. Someone is
fucking with me. I know someone is fucking with me.” Not to say that I don’t think I deserve fan mail, cause come on. Im adorable and quite talented, but thats besides the point. I know my place in the hiearchy of comedy and its not the spot where you get fan mail from people in england. Yes ChuckleMonkey is awesome, and everyone looks at it, but it also has 40,000 comedians on it. What about the name ‘Elon James White’ made this Vince fellow ‘Bloddy hell, i have to check this bloke out!’ Yes that was steretypical, but its the way I’m feeling so suck it.

So I’m asking everybody I’m asking Ray, I’m asking Baron, I stop by Sal’s and I’m asking Larry, its just freaking me out? I think I was more afraid of it being real than it being fake. Fake I can deal with. My friends are fucking with me. But real? Dear God, real? That means that I’ve actually made someone feel something enough to write. As Darryl Wright was saying to me “It takes emotion, good or bad, to actually send a letter” I didnt know what to think. I was all of a sudden feeling very badly that I didnt respond back to this guy. i should have. He’s my Fan! I need to contact him!

Then I run into Michelle.

Michelle is talking about some email she got from someone in AUSTRIA. But to me thats expected, she was just on Premium Blend like a week ago. She said it didnt make sense to her so she googled the guys name. To find out a bunch of people have the same request from him for an autograph.

I felt so stupid. Why didn’t ” I” google my new found fan. Foolish am I.

Lo and behold:

http://www.iansalmon.com/index1.html

Its the exact same email folks. Exactly, except they changed the site he was found at. This comic actually has it on his WEBSITE. He never even questioned it. He was like “Obviously I have fan letters. Why WOULDN’T I?” Me I’m breaking out my junior detective badge trying to figure out who’s the perpertrator of trying to make me think I’m valid.

Who ever the guy is has been to my site. He wrote “clips” for this Ian guy and wrote “clip” for me because I only have one clip on my site, and I’m not the biggest fan of it. Its just video. People laughed. Yay. they guy Michelle found was all over the web. I can only find one instance of my fan. So hey, maybe he’s just very much into the idea of being very direct and polite. Doesnt want to veer off into unscripted banter.

So I have a choice. I can email this dude back. Send him his autograph. Or I could say “I’m not playingthese games buddy boy” and crip walk down the street.

I’m gonna send the autograph. If some british dude kills me remember this post.

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