My Interpertation of “The story of Job”

God was having a board meeting. This is where all the angels and stuff come down and gvie him the general report about whats right, wrong, and generally needs taking care of. Satan is for some reason at the meeting in the back playing his PSP. God is like “Satan? Why are you here? Didn’t we fire you millenia ago?” Satan is like “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I can’t stop by. Sheesh.” God says “So, Satan, what have you been up to. How’s the wife, the kids.” And Satan is like “Wife? We’re not talking. Divorce is pending. Ever since the whole ‘Fall from heaven’ things have been rough. Basically I’ve been just walking around. I do a lot of walking. I’ve been walking all across the earth and…”

God interupts him.

“Yooooo, have seen my nigga Job? Job is da BOMB yo. You will not find a more rightous man. He does everything I say. EVERYTHING. He takes the commandments MAD litteral yo.”

Satan’s like “Yeah, I would to if you hooked me up like that.”

“Well I kinda did, and you fucked up a bit.“

“You know what I mean old man. If I was all human and shit and you were like giving me oxen and and shit. I mean he’s banging his wife regularly. They got like 10 kids! That man is getting some serious ass. Money, fame, Ass upon Ass? Why would he say anything bad.”

“Oh, so you think I bought him eh? You think I bribed him? He would still worship me and be rightous even with out that shit.”

“Oh please, if you started with a little smiting and plague he’d be cursing yo ass up and down the block”‘

“There isn’t any such things as blocks. its like 300 years before Christ gets there”

“Christ is going down there? Yo tell him I said WUZ UP NIGGA! I aint seen him in a minute. I tried hitting him up on his sidekick but he never answers.”

“You tried to kill me“

“Yeah, but that was you, me and him should still be cool”

“Im his father”

“I know nigga!”

“You’re dense. You know that? Anyway, have a little fun. Fuck with him. destroy all his shit. He’ll still love me”

But thats just his material stuff, can I kill his children?”

“Sho” God replied.

“How about give him, um, like a disease. A nice fleash eating one.”

“Coo” God replied.

“Aight, cool. I didn’t know you were gonna be all down for some shit today. I just came up to see what was poppin’ here tonight. Now I got some entertainment.” Satan started to crip walk.

“Yeah, well thats what I do. Im the G to tha O to tha D to tha…”

“Yo ass can’t even spell God.”

“What do you mean, if i said ‘to tha f” that would mean God is spelled GODF. Im all powerful muthafucka”

Satan mumbles and walks away. “I’ll hit you back when I’m done.”

“Cool, oh and text message me though. My blackberry hasn’t been working as of late.”

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