So I left my house. It was hot. Hot as if I had bathed in gasoline and
then lit myself via blow torch. I was able to get to my local store
where I bought the lovely bottle of pictured water.

Yes. It is a gallon of water.

I then made my way to “The Islands”, my favorite west indian restaurant
and my wi-fi spot, which was about 3 blocks from the store.

I drank a half a gallon of water in three blocks. Crazy. Crazy!

I woke up this morning with droplets of water all over me. Not sweat,
droplets of water. My room was so hot that “I” was the coolest thing in
the room! Water fricken condensed on me. CONDENSED! Condensation
bitches!

How do you know it wasn’t sweat Elon?

Cause it was perfect drops that weren’t moving! Condensation!

Ahem. Sorry. I’m hot. And obviously insane. Heat dementia! Arrrgh.

And part 2 of my first love story to come.

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