http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/05/24/MNG86CTOGA1.DTL

Widow, 84, a prisoner in her own apartment Police allege 6 gang members dealt drugs from her S.F. home, even ate her senior meals

Ahem…

Thats fricken Brilliant.

I say we gotta give these little punks credit. Instead of being holed up in some abandoned warehouse somewhere these degenerates decided to chill in a nice warm apartment, where food was being delievered daily! Fuck McDonalds, MEALS ON WHEELS BITCHES! Rent is paid via some account and the person who’s house it is is so fucking old that no one cares if she isn’t being very responsive or not! Its brilliant! Sell drugs and make money while having no overhead, but actually having something over their fricken heads

I’m sitting here worried about paying rent and I could just find an 84 year old woman and be like ‘Break yo self bitch. This my house now. I won’t hurt you, but you have to shut the fuck up and let me live here. I may take some of your meals on wheels but thats it.’ I can go do sets at night come back. Sleep. Have breakfast delivered. These punks even complained about the quality of the FOOD!

“Yeah uh. Ms..Ms…well…Ms. Old Bitch here says the chicken is a bit dry. Add some Hot sauce next time.”

‘Yo, Yo Yo, I may be stealing this food from an old lady, but this shit better be cooked properly. KOSHER BITCHES! (gang member starts to crip walk. Dr. Dre ‘Next episode’ starts to play.)’

Then the building super is all ‘I tried to call the cops but they didn’t do anything’

You telling me, that you said “Hey Cops, theres this 84 year old lady right? She has been taken hostage by some gang members and they now live in her house.” and the cops were like “Ooooh. thats a toughy. Don’t know how to go about this one. Okay we may have to file some papers. Come back in about 3 weeks and we’ll see where we are with this.”

HOSTAGE. THERES A HOSTAGE! Get the battering ram, flash grenade that house and clear the gang members out!

If it was so bad, this is the type of shit you put in the paper, and you try to hire the A-TEAM or some other late 80’s bad asses. Mcgyver, Knight Rider, The Equalizer, SOMEBODY! Get the GANG MEMBERS OUT!

Excuse me. I have an old person to find and then Exploit.

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