Dear flippin’ God.
Another Sunday come? Another Sunday way too intoxicated.What is wrong with me? Drink tickets are inapropriate for comedians. All that it does is give me reasons to drink way too much. If I had to pay for those Grey Gooses and Pinapple I’d probably reconsider the Seven during the show. 2 fine. 3 […]

Popularity: 9% [?]

Ode to the evil, evil Long Island Ice Tea.
You with your sweet tasting damnaton. Mixing of alcohols and then hiding behind the taste of sugar a lemon. DANGEROUS you are oh drink of the Gods. Dangerous I say.
Why do I drink those? It’s ridiculous. I am now up and at’em today and its just not […]

Popularity: 2% [?]

Ode to things that are stupid beyond belief.
Meaning…
I’m going to take a bit of time to rip MTV and VH1 a new one.
What in holy hell has happened to television. Why the FUCK do i want to watch a show about spoiled 15 year olds becoming spoiled 16 year olds. Its ridiculous. The idea of […]

Popularity: 2% [?]

Okay. Its 5:21 in the morning.

I just woke up. I seemed to have passed out from sheer exhaustion. That and the RIDICULOUS amount of Grey Goose and Pineapples I’ve been drinking. What in holy hell was I thinking? I can’t even explain it. I just felt it was a good Idea. Then towards the end […]

Popularity: 2% [?]

Dying? Check.
Still not resting? Check.
Possibly doing major damage to my body forever? CHECK, CHECK and DOUBLE CHECK.
So I’m currently on the “Set” of Mr. Varnado’s soon to be cult classic. Its fun. I got to have a camera shot all to myself. YAY. Ofcourse I’m a dick so I ended up doing the scene […]

Popularity: 2% [?]

If I had a web camera I would show you the face of a man who wants to crawl up and die.
But theres no web camera. You’ll just have to take my word for it. I assure you the face that would be in the picture would have no life in him at all. I’m […]

Popularity: 2% [?]

I’m almost at the end of week 2 of my hell, and well…

It’s still hell. I have an upper respitory infection. I’ve been sick off my ass for days. I was supposed to be trying to set up some sort of date with this girl I know and I completely didn’t call her. I […]

Popularity: 2% [?]

Ahem.

First you have to wake up Elon James White. Then the rest works itself out.

Between the women I know, the men I know, and basically all of their interaction with me, this week has been one of the suckiest to date. I was ignored, I was ambushed, I was bitten(no, that WASN’T sarcasm […]

Popularity: 2% [?]

I wrote a MAD long essay. It was brilliantly written and created just for this blog.
Too bad I can’t possibly post it here. Some people might be…how do you say? Horrified. Bleh. I may not be able to post but I’ll say this.
I hate EVERYONE right about now.
Thank You…
Popularity: unranked [?]

Popularity: unranked [?]

I just went to the Comic Strip Live auditions.

I actually have fun at these auditions. I see a bunch of comics that I haven’t seen in months and get to bullshit with them. Its fun. Today’s lovely lovely surprise was the new way the Lottery was conducted. Ya see, it seems that today instead of […]

Popularity: 2% [?]