I had an urge to express myself.

Here’s that urge realized.

I have a feeling in my chest that I know not how to describe. It’s not fear, its not anger, its not frustration. It’s like a joy and peace that I’m not familiar with. It’s like…just there. I feel as if I’m a different person than I was just 2 days ago. As if I’ve grown. I have leveled up, ascended if you will. Not to a plateau above other people just above who I was. I’m a new me. I’m told this is what you call enlightenment. I don’t know what to do with it. My mind keeps just trying to re-examine what I know to be fact. It’s trying to make things go back to the way it was but it can’t its like forever altered. But in the midst of my happiness I have fear.

I have fear that this peace that I have just found will leave. I’m a little nervous about the events that occurred when I let go. Things just went all, wow-y. I want it to stay like that but I don’t know how to make that occur. I have this feeling of, ‘Ahhh.’, but, but…I don’t know.

I think I’m looking for something to bitch about and currently I don’t have it. I have acceptance in whatever I do. So its like, ‘Well, what do I bitch about?’ I hope I can keep the peace, because I think the clarity has started to fade. Or I’m growing use to it. No matter how great a thing is, it will only keep its initial joy for a certain amount of time.

I’m tired.

DONE.

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