So my entire belief structure was destroyed.

The very thing my childhood morals and values was based on ws the bible and christianity. And over the past few years I have been in question of it all. I don’t know what is right and wrong about it. What should i believe or shouldn’t I. But, in a shocking turn of events I realized that I don’t believe the bible to be what is said to be. I believe it is a myth of MYTHIC proportions. It is, for intents and purposes the greatest story ever told. But not neccessarily a TRUE story.

Do you know how that feels? To have what you have taken to be absolute truth, torn to shreds and realize that the world you believed you lived in doesn’t exist?

It feels LIBERATING.

I love LIFE. I no longer have this fear of overwhelming doom and such. I don’t feel that things will go bad just because they have to test me. I feel that things will be as they should be. No more, no less. It all is based on how I percieve it to be. I am okay with this. I am not angry, I am not hurt. NOR will I go about and try depose others beliefs in the things i no longer take as truth. I understand their beliefs. I understand why the believe in it, I just don’t.

Oh, and life has the bestest sense of humor EVER!(yes, I said ‘BESTEST’)

I walk in to work today. Not believing in all I believed in the day before. A weird acceptance of things to come if i quit, and I assure you the quiting was happening. And you know what happned? Another department decided they wanted to pick me up as a member of their team. They wanted me to do what I do, what my current department refuses to allow me to do, and do it for them with no if ands or buts about it.

If there was a way to smile through words I assure you what you see right now would be a beaming glaring toothy smile. I am okay with this. I realize that life is to short for the pretenses that I live with everyday.

I never tell my mother I love her. Why is that?

I feel all weird and stuff. I don’t know how to deal with that emotion and the reactions to it, even from my own mother. I realize that I will stop this today. I realize that things like it I will stop when I identify them. I…I…

I am, in a sense, REBORN.

And by the way, DAMN that was a dramatic sentence. I really do feel that way, so I won’t edit it even though it seems wacky.

Done

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