My life is officially a mixture of Dallas, and Friends.

So on one hand, I’m locked in political battle for Power and in all honest just to keep my JOB, and then the next day? I enter the world of wacky situation comidies. What the hell am I talking about?

I’m at home yesterday. I’m broke, and a little bit down about it. I see Lula Mae online. I give her the obligatory MSN wink, and she responds with her famous “Whaaaaaaa!” She then tells me that my money(remember they owe me cash. Once Lula Mae was in the hospital I kinda let it slide.) They have my money. I’m ecstatic about it. She tells me call Ms. Monroe before I go so she is prepared to give me the cash when I stop by the restaurant. Not a problem.

Now I’m weird. I hate when they know I’m calling at the restaurant. It adds like 20 seconds of comments sometimes once they see your name on the caller ID. I HATE when I call and its like “Hey Breezy” It’s a hangup. I know. So I like to use call block on my phone when I make the call.

So I dial *72 and then the number I’m calling. When Ms. Monroe picks up the phone she doesn’t greet me with familiarity at all, so I assume that the call block has worked. I tell her I’m coming by later and we agree that I’ll pick up my money then.

I then proceed to NOT move off my lazy ass for the entire day. I’m sitting here playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic for a ridiculous amount of time. Around 10:16 I think “I gotta go out.” I can’t spend the ENTIRE day playing video games. So I get dressed and I go by TiR. I figure they should close late tonight because it’s First Saturday(Shout out to BROOKLYN) and the place should get some play from the museum. Pus Last First Saturday I met that older women that I was digging a bit. I was wondering is there a chance she might show up again. I had given her my number be she hadn’t called me, so I just gave up on her. I wasn’t bright enough to ask for hers. IDIOT, I know. But hey, like I said she might be here tonite.

So I go and I try to catch a cab.

Funny thing is, it took me 25 minutes to catch this cab. It NEVER takes me that long to catch a cab. I just go outside, hail a cab and I’m done. Not yesterday. Yesterday it was a 25 minute waving of hands until finally someone took pity on me and stopped.

So I arrive @TiR.

When I walk through the door I see some weird person behind the counter, and then I see Ms. Monroe. She looks at me and says…

“ JAY BREEZY!”

“er…yeees? How are you Ms. Monroe?”

“You had a DATE!”

“um…” You see, Ms. Monroe is sometimes? Not exactly clear in her point or her motive, so I don’t want to antagonize her, I just want to get what ever shes taking about out of the way “..Okay, what are You talking about?”

“I don’t understand why you have women calling here for you”

Stop. Rewind. Come Again. WHAT?

“I don’t give women this number…what are you talking about?!?!?”

“Do you know a Linda?”

Okay, Linda, Linda, Linda…er, I don’t know anyone named…

Oh. My. God.

“Oh. My. God. The girl from last first Saturday?!?!? But I gave her my number I know I did. Why would I POSSIBLY give her you guys number! Maybe I gave her the restaurants number cause she wanted food and she mixed it up…”

“No Breezy she said you gave this number and that she was trying to call you so you guys could go out tonight. I don’t understand you, and Phenom was calling here for you and…”

“ Whoa, what? Phenom knew I wasn’t here why would HE be calling here?”

Oh. My. God. Then it all started to come together, And I realized how much of an idiot I truly am. The last phone call I received all day was before I spoke to Ms. Monroe. I dialed *72 to block my number…but that wasn’t block…

That my friends was to call FORWARD. I dialed the call FORWARDING code then TiR then all calls was forwarded there. Whose an idiot? I’m an idiot!

So I sit there startled HORRIFIED even. I don’t meet many women in NYC that are interesting and find me interesting as well, who would want to GO OUT with me. I’m everyones favorite “Girl Friend” I’m so F’ing Sweet. But this girl didn’t know Sweet Breezy, she knew Some dude who was all…I don’t know what I was. More on that later.

So I’m trying to look through the caller Id and I can’t find a number I just can’t. I feel like the biggest dick ever. I call Lula Mae and I say…

“ Lula, I’m an idiot. I’m stupid. I’m horrifyingly inept.” And I then retell her the story of events. Her response was very simple and short.

“Breezy? Why are you talking to me from the restaurant and not at the Museum looking for her?”

“But Lula she lives far away, she is probably already on her way home.”

“Breezy? Why are you talking to me from the restaurant and not at the museum looking for her?”

I got the point. So I left and I went looking for her. Ofcourse I did NOT find her. I come back and tell everybody. I call Lula back. I tell her of the goings on of the evening and that I didn’t even get a number, so there was no clean up. Ms. Monroe said I looked like a dick because it seemed like I gave her the wrong number trying to blow her off, so I was like, she’s not even going to try to contact me back. Ugh. I cant get mad at Ms. Monroe for not getting a number because she’s not my secretary…

“But Breezy, She told me that she had a number.”

…

“WHAT!?”

I go back in the restaurant and say “Ms. Monroe Do you have a number for the young lady?”

“Oh, here.”

All that freaking out and she had the number?!?!!? My God that women hates me. Oh well. People have hated me more. So I tell Lula I’ll call her today(which is Sunday). She tells me that’s unacceptable I must call her that very moment. I say ‘But she’s not home.” And she then tells me get off the phone with her RIGHT THAT instant and call.

So I did.

She wasn’t home.

This is the answering machine message that I left.

“Hi, this is John Doe(alias, dur), The Guy from the restaurant in brooklyn. I got a message you tried to call me, My phone number got forwarded and the story’s too long to explain on your machine. I figured you wouldn’t be home just yet but i just wanted to give you a shout out that i got the message. I’ll probably give you a shout out tomorrow, or you can call me when my phone is NOT forwarded. Alrighty, talk to ya later peace.”

Yes I did sound like a dick. Yes I do think she lost respect for me. But its done. We shall find out what happens later when I call her back. Blah

Done.

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