I think I’ve reached that space where its no longer just self analysis. Its self obsession.

I’m constantly re-evaluating myself about things, and I know why now. ITS TiR! Everytime I’m there its all “Breazy, you need to work on *insert personality problem here* or “Breazy, you’ll be alone forever if you dont stop *Enter personality probem here* I didn’t notice until yesterday when i just grew tired of it all. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Oh then there was the biker lady incident.

Yes there was an incident.

So I’m chillin at TiR, and some lady comes in for food. When she comes in i politely nod and smile. and she replies

‘Hey, hows it going’

Please note, this is an abnormal occurance in NYC. People normally just stare like a dear in headlights, or better yet, they turn away and go all ignory and never look in your direction again. I have now learned to read this as slightly approachable. Other states and countries probably laugh at this.

Anyway I start conversing with the young lady, and she seems amused at my banter. This is all i really ask of a women when i first talk to her. It was amusing. So we spoke of bike type things. I ride my bike alot now, even though i know NOTHING about the whole biker culture. I’m more like a bike messanger. I have my 1 armed back back and im off. I ride through any weather and through ridiculous traffic. But the bikers here arn’t like that. They got the Biker gear, the spandex, the helmets(which i know i should wear, but i dont.) the cool gloves. Their bikes are all weird shaped to make them all haunched over. They look like their getting sponsored to ride through prospect park.

Me? I got my ‘Brooklyn’ Shirt on and a visor and my busted sneakers and I’m off.

So we joked and laughed, and I thought her food was taking a bit long to be served. Im taking orders while I talk and next thing ya know im getting busted on by Lula Mae and Big Man Eric. They are complaining about my lack of paying attention to the orders, WHICH I WAS IN FACT PAYING ATTENTION TO, and saying something to the effect of I was too busy havnig verbal diarhea to take the orders right, which ofcourse Boosted my confidence.

And when i say boosted, I mean completely and utterly destroyed it.

Then Poor Bastard(its his name since his wife cheated on him and he’s still in love) comes over and starts spouting bike nonsense. Who knew Poor Bastard is all well versed in the art of biking. So he talks to much in the first place and then he just starts going. So with Lula Mae, and Big Man Eric and Poor bastard all going around me i completely gave up. I didn’t even give her my numba or ask for hers. I just gave up.

Didn’t go shoping with Miss Laren on Saturday. i just hung out with them in the afternoon and talked shit. She has a kick ass Ass. I think I was suppose to take her to the movies. She was trying to get me to take her. I should have. I was being a dick. I have been listening to everyone say shes taking advantage, and in the end, if im supposidly as nice a guy as advertised, and shes suppose to be a freind, spending 10 bucks on a movie isnt a big deal. Oh well. I have been kicking the idea of getting her a cake for her leaving, but im low on cash, so i cant do that. Work doesnt suck to much.

And after yelling all of that. I think i’m done.

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